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Show Notes
In this episode of the Rural Renewal Podcast, we sit down with David Blackwell for a candid conversation about one of the most important — and sometimes most challenging — parts of ministry: helping relationships move from social connection to spiritual depth.
We don’t claim to have all the answers, but we share honest reflections, stories, and questions from our own experiences. This episode is more of an open-ended conversation than a how-to guide — a space to spark your own ideas and invite you into the dialogue.
How do you help everyday conversations turn toward faith without feeling forced or awkward? What has worked in your context? We’d love to hear from you.
David Blackwell has served as the senior pastor of Florence-Carlton Community Church in the Bitterroot Valley of Montana for 19 years, and is passionate about helping develop church leaders and pastors for outwardly-focused, community-oriented ministry in small town and rural settings.
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Interview Summary
“It is a real challenge to simultaneously have people layering what Christ is doing in their lives on top of those social relationships—and at the same time, creating those weak relationships where there’s room for somebody else to be part of the gathering and what God’s doing here.” —David Blackwell
Introduction: The Power—and Challenge—of Relationships
In rural churches, relationships run deep. But what happens when those deep roots become barriers rather than bridges to spiritual growth?
On this episode of the Rural Renewal Podcast, hosts Chris and Kathleen Blackey welcome back pastor and rural ministry leader David Blackwell for a third conversation about the complex nature of relationships in small churches. Together, they explore the difference between social and spiritual relationships, and how church leaders can cultivate environments where both long-standing and new connections are aligned with the purpose of following Jesus.
David brings decades of experience pastoring in a tiny Montana town with one stoplight and a deeply relational culture. Chris and Kathleen pastor in a similar context and add honest reflections about the joys and obstacles that come with ministry in close-knit, familiar communities.
What Makes Relationships in Rural Churches Unique?
“People don’t go to events here—they go to talk to people.” —David Blackwell
In rural communities, connection comes naturally. People gather because they know each other from childhood, from the diner, the fire department, the school fundraiser. These social networks are strong—but they don’t always lead people deeper into Christ-centered living.
Chris puts it plainly: “In a rural place, people come to church because they’re connecting relationally with people… If you have a strength of relationship, you should lean in.”
The challenge? Making sure these natural connections move beyond surface-level familiarity to spiritual depth.
From Social to Spiritual: The Intentional Shift
“Relationships are not in and of themselves the goal. If the relationships we’re building with one another aren’t pushing us towards deeper relationship with Jesus, they’re not doing what we’re called to do as churches.” —Chris Blackey
The trio explores how social familiarity can create intimacy without depth. Sometimes people who see each other all week long—at ball games, reunions, and coffee shops—struggle to talk about their faith.
David calls these dynamics “intimate strangers,” explaining, “We know a lot about each other, but we really don’t know each other.” Kathleen adds that deep familiarity can make it awkward to suddenly introduce Jesus into the conversation.
Creating Space for New and Weak Relationships
“Weak relationships—those new and less-established ones—can be lifeblood for a rural church. They give space for people to connect and grow in a different way.” —David Blackwell
To offset the stagnation that can come from long-established cliques, David emphasizes the importance of “weak relationships”—the early-stage, low-pressure connections that can become a gateway to community and faith.
Chris shares practical ideas like mission projects and new ministry initiatives that shake up the relational ecosystem. David talks about “salt shaker dinners,” where groups are intentionally mixed to foster new connections.
These strategies aren’t about replacing old friendships but layering on new, missional connections that expand the community’s spiritual bandwidth.
Creating Environments That Invite Everyone In
“Not everyone is an extrovert. Some people just need a puzzle table.” —Kathleen Blackey
One of the podcast’s most charming examples is Kathleen’s story of a church-hosted party that always includes a puzzle table. For introverts or newcomers, it provides a low-pressure way to feel included and connect with others.
Whether through puzzle tables or porch gatherings, the key is creating spaces where different types of people can feel like they belong. This includes meeting outside the church building—literally and figuratively—and ensuring that new guests have a soft landing and clear pathways into the life of the church.
Modeling Spiritual Conversations
“Jesus comes along for the ride. When people interact with us, the Holy Spirit is there. They are having an interaction with the God of the universe.” —Chris Blackey
Pastors and longtime members must model what it looks like to integrate Jesus into everyday relationships. Not by being awkward or overly aggressive—but by simply having Christ “on the tip of your tongue.”
The goal is not just friendly community, but one where spiritual conversations happen naturally and deeply, especially in mixed company.
David highlights the relational model of Jesus—His ministry to the crowds, the 120, the 12, and the 3 closest disciples—as a pattern for how we might structure relationships and prioritize spiritual connection.
Holding Tight and Letting Go
“We’re not talking about jettisoning your best friend since third grade. We’re talking about layering what Christ is doing in our lives on top of those long-standing relationships—and making room for others to join the gathering.” —David Blackwell
This episode reminds us that deep roots are a gift—but growth happens when we till the soil and make room for something new to take root alongside the old.
Rural church leaders don’t need to reinvent the wheel. Instead, they’re called to refocus their relational strengths toward discipleship, to model inclusive hospitality, and to invite both old friends and new faces into the journey of following Jesus.
Reflection Questions
- How can your church intentionally create space for weak or new relationships?
- What barriers might newcomers face when trying to connect in your church?
- How do you model spiritual conversations in everyday settings?
- What’s one existing relationship you can gently guide toward deeper spiritual connection?
- How might your church design a low-pressure gathering that includes both extroverts and introverts?
- What spiritual opportunities arise from the “everyday” events like meals, parties, or sports games?
